Lately...

Hopefully these are just short term problems I have come to have but I have noticed that:

Lately... I can’t seem to remember anything. I can’t remember where I put things or what I am supposed to be getting done. I can’t seem to retain anything except water. Which, that I am doing an excellent job at.

Lately... I have watched the same Dora the Explorer DVD like 100 times(not by my choice). Frankly, I’m a little disappointed I am not bilingual by now. Instead, probably due to my previous statement, I can only remember Rapido and Penguino. Although, I guess if I ever need to tell a penguin to go faster I’m set.

Lately... my woman/mother super power of multitasking is fading. I can either feed you or listen to you-pick one.

Lately...Dinners have become a variety- which consists of cereal, frozen pizza, or whatever you make yourself.

Lately... I can’t seem to tie my shoe without racing the clock so I don’t pass out from not being able to breathe while I’m bending down.

Lately... I can’t seem to get off the sweet-salty cycle. I eat something sweet then I just have to follow up with something salty which then brings me back to needing something sweet. When does it end!

Lately...PBS Kids and Dora have become my kids favorite companions. They assume this position and remain there way too long. Notice they are both in their pajamas still and it is like 11am. The sad part is I probably am too!

That Just Ain't Right!

I'm going to share with you in my native tongue(southeast Missourian) a saying that you might hear when things baffle you and don't turn out the way you think they should. We say "That just AIN'T right." You have to make sure you have the accent or some of the meaning is lost. I share this because over the years I've had to say or think this in certain circumstances:

OK I have a not so great side to me. In general I am a pretty passive, easygoing, noncompetitive person but I have a streak of pride and competitiveness that comes out now and again and it seems more often lately in relation to my husband. A couple of years ago, Kevin got us dance lessons for my birthday because he knows I love to dance. We recruited our great friends to go as well, so we all went and it was a blast but I did get corrected by the teacher more than I thought necessary because in my mind I am a great dancer and I kept thinking--hey go tell Kevin what he's doing wrong because if it's not right the problem has to be with him not me! He did get corrected too but he must have needed it :) OK see prideful I know.

Next, he then decided the class thing together was fun so for our anniversary he went through local class options and found an 8 week pottery class. Sounded fun, I'm crafty and artistic(I thought) so I was ready to go. We go and there I sit with my giant lump of clay trying to channel my creativity and inner sculptor(which evidently is not there). I look over and there's Kevin on the wheel with this beautiful bowl that is almost done. WHAT!! NO! I'm the crafty one I'm supposed to be good at this stuff. So by the end of the 8 weeks I end up with a hodge podge of pieces that look they were stolen from the Elementary Art room and Kevin has all these wonderful pieces that you could purchase at Pottery Barn. I'm not bitter though really!

My last example is in relation to the previous post. You saw our gingerbread house right. Well in reality he did all the wonderful icing work and construction and me and the kids randomly stuck the candy on. He then went above and beyond by making this awesome creation(see below). His parents collaborated with him and they worked together to design the model of the firehouse he works at. It is almost exactly like the real firehouse-it even has the dumpster in the back. In the past his parents and family made an amazing replica of Hogwart's castle, Hogsmeade village and the train station from Harry Potter out of gingerbread. It was incredible! OK back to the firehouse, His mom churned out more gingerbread and Kevin began construction. It took days and by the end he was even baking the gingerbread and making the icing himself--only in the most manly way of course! If you want to see this masterpiece it is on display in the lobby of the fire department/admin. building by our house.

That just AIN'T right! How can I ever top that! I guess the point is I don't need to top it but just be happy I am married to this amazingly talented man!! You know I think I'll sign us up for a scrapbook or computer class next (Those I know I would better at) Oops there I go again.

Gingerbread Houses

Kevin's parents have mastered the art of gingerbread house making. They make homemade gingerbread and icing and have templates of houses to make and it ends up being an easy(for us- not his poor mom who has to bake all the gingerbread and make the icing) and fun activity assembling and decorating the houses. They have tons of candy options and little cute decorations to make each house unique and fun. So for family home evening we went over and made this cute creation:Kristen just spent the time trying to eat all the candy! After you make one of these you can never go back to the graham cracker or gingerbread house kits in a box. We've tried but it's just not the same. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Richards for inviting us for the fun evening and doing all the preliminary work so we could do the fun part.

Princess and the Pee..

No there is no typo here this is a new version of a classic fairytale that I get the joy of playing out.
Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in a home full of testosterone, love, and of course "the force". From day one-actually that's not true we got real excited about how mellow and how much she slept the 1st two days-it was a miracle we finally got a baby that was going to not be so high maintainced the heavens have looked down and smiled upon us at last!! This joy remained just long enough to realize it was just the Vicoden she was getting through nursing. So from the time we brought her home and I was detoxed she decided sleep was really an unnecessary and annoying practice that kept her from her plotting domination in our home. Her plan was really quite brilliant. Make the 2 supposed leaders so sleep deprived that it would be easy to overthrow them. She has mixed up her techniques over the past 18 months with waking up just once at night, then letting you get used to sleep for almost a month and just when you think you have conquered all she decides to remind you who really is in charge here. She will then punish your futile hope by getting up every night for the next week. This cycle continues but the new twist is and explanation of the title of this post is:

Princess Kristen has decided that her bottom can never be bothered by moisture when she is to sleep. The promise of the diaper to pull away all moisture is false advertising as far as her now "sensitive cheeks" are concerned. I change her right before bed and then like 3 or 4 hours later she wakes up-yes she is a little wet but I know for a fact and much research(which was mostly conducted by neglecting to change a diaper out of laziness or Kevin and I holding out until the other caved and did it) that there is way more absorption that can go on before there is any leaking. She then goes back to bed dry and happy. So I suspect either I have purchased a defective batch of diapers or the much more likely answer is that this is a new ploy to continue her rule. I think she can feel a tremor in the force that another baby is coming and she is going to have to kick it up a notch to make sure we realize this is her Empire and we are her minions. The boys have already accepted their fate and let her walk all over them(quite literally sometimes) but I have not given up all hope. I will continue my own plotting. Luke and the boys came up with that in our house daddy was the King, I'm the queen, Luke is the prince, Ryan the duke, Kristen is the princess and poor Colin they made the servant. I tried to explain that there can be 3 princes but they all(mostly Luke) were happy what they came up with. Maybe this baby will bring balance to the force and provide a happily ever after to this not so fun fairy tale. The other option is they join together to bring us all down-- I will have to monitor them closely. They will have plenty of time for planning when they both are up half the night.

You've had a Birthday...

Today, Monday,December 10th is my marvelous Mother's birthday!! It is your turn for your birthday salute from the 'herd'. I say that because someone the other day saw me with all the kids and said wow you have your own herd. I wasn't aware 4 kids now was equivalent to mass quantity livestock, I guess it depends on the day how much I would dispute that. Anyway back to your tribute from my herd of Jedi!

Kevin: Grandma really makes each of our children feel special both individually and as a whole. She's a ruthless Monopoly player and sore loser in Domino's. She raised a wonderful girl to be my wife. She's also a great arms dealer for my kids. (see Ryan and Colin's comment.)

Heather: I am so thankful you were so patient and loving as I was growing up. I know now how hard that is to accomplish. Thanks for acting so interested at my random chattering when you were fighting back sleep or actually maybe just boredom. Thank you for being such an amazing example of the mother and spiritual person I hope to become. You are an incredibly giving person who is both funny and wise, creative and talented and I love you very much!!

Luke: When we go visit she always makes sure she has my favorite: waffles. I like that she has cable with lots of channels. She cooks good too. I love the stories she makes up and tells or even when she reads the Hank stories.

Ryan: I like that she lets us go on adventures to the hills and goes sometimes with us. I like how she sweet talks to me and I know she loves me. I like how she has these fantasy stories she tells us at night with us in them. I like the toys she get us and when she buys us play guns.

Colin: She makes yummy food like eggs and stuff. She takes us to the gun store. (note: I know it is TN but this is the Dollar store where they get play guns .) Grandma makes me happy because she always tells me how much she loves me. Like when she says "I love you like crazy", that's funny! The stories she tells help me go right to bed.

Kristen: No! Bye! Shoe!--followed by serious rambling I don't understand.

I hope you enjoy your birthday and as usual your present will be arriving I'm sure a couple of days late. I wouldn't want to break that tradition. To mix it up a little the kids decided to sing you a "different" song than Grandpa so here is another fun primary birthday song.