If you give 2 kids a bath....

If you give 2 kids a bath

They will probably want some toys to go with it

Then they will ask for some bubbles

Seeing the bubbles will remind them how much they love the giant suds

So when you leave the room they will get the full bottle of body wash and dump it in the bath

Now that the bath is full of bubbles they will decide they are done.

They don't want to bother you so 1 kid will get a towel for the other and gives it to him while he is still in the water

Seeing the towel completely saturated in water will seem very amusing to the kids so they will go get another and another

You will then come in and see lots and lots of towels in the bathtub absorbing the massive bubble mess

You get it all cleaned up and rinse out the tub and the toys.

The kids see the toys and the clean tub

And chances are if they see the toys and tub they will want a bath to go with it.



My weekend encompassed this representation. I gave them a bath and once again they dump the soap. The bottle I put up high so it wouldn't be noticeable (1st mistake) but again scaling up a slick tub is not beyond Kristen's capabilities. Then I had 2 of my other kids watch them for a minute(2nd mistake)and I come back and find out one of those questions I could have gone my whole life not knowing--
How many towels does it take to absorb a whole bathtub full of excessively sudsy water?
Well the answer is 16--yes 16 clean large towels.Apparently dirty ones are not acceptable because they stepped over 2 dirty ones I had placed on the ground to absorb any splashes and emptied the linen closet around the corner.

I won't even go into the second bath scenario later that day. It was far less clean and just a reminder how inconvenient kids who are not potty trained can be. It ended with a complete sanitation of the whole bathroom. I think I just may have to ban baths in my house. Nothing good comes from them for me. I am just going to give them a box of baby wipes and have them wipe themselves down. It's easier to throw away 16 wipes than rinse out and haul 16 very wet, heavy towel downstairs and wash them AGAIN! I don't know if I believe right now that Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Being "Green"

I am trying to have a more positive perspective so my new outlook is my kids aren't lazy slackers they are concerned about the environment and are being "green".

1. They don't flush the toilet after every use. I'm sure it isn't laziness it's just them trying to limit water usage. I will just ignore the glaring contradiction of leaving the water running the whole entire time they brush their teeth or wash any dishes.

2. Luke and Ryan want to recycle almost everything--which may be because that is Colin's job to take out and they alternate taking out the regular garbage or they just love our planet.

3. Colin is very meticulous about what is actually something that can be recycled. He will study the object for the triangle symbol. Again maybe because that means less work for him in the end but I will go with he is just extremely dedicated to this cause.

4. They leave their garbage laying around inside the house. I'm sure this is because their deep concern for not overburdening the existing landfills.

5. Some of them don't seem to ever want to change clothes. Gross you say.. well, yeah kind of but think of again the water they are saving by not producing as much laundry.

6. They never want to actually use the cleaners to clean the cabinets or bathroom. They take a rag and just kind of half-heartedly wipe it down. Well imagine my relief when my eyes were opened to the fact they are just protesting the use of chemicals that can damage our planet. That is so much better than the alternate explanation which is they are half jobbers that have absolutely no pride in their work.

Perception=Reality right?

Baths and Candy

This is what happened when I wouldn't let Kristen take a bath the other day. She ran off to pout so I went about my business. Which happened to be laundry that day. I left the lid open while the water was filling so I could run up and get a few more clothes. I came back down and she was submerged in the water of the full machine.














She always will try and find a plan b or c or d to accomplish her "goals". Which later in life will be a great thing but for now her "Inventiveness" is just annoying and frankly exhausting.

We went to a parade the other day and got way to much candy. Colin has his own huge bag he worked hard collecting in the rain. I heard a friend talking to their daughter about donating some of the candy.Knowing how Colin has an unhealthy(in more ways than one) obsession with candy I thought it would be fun to mess with him a little. Yes I know thats probably not in any parenting book but really I have to find entertainment somehow.

So I say to Colin--hey colin how about you donate some of your candy to some kids in the hospital. I see the alarm instantly in his eyes. Then he slowly and cautiously says umm I don't think that's a good idea. "Really", I said why not it may make them happy". Umm no I think it would probably be really bad for them to have it and just may make them more sick....so I think I better just keep it all. Way to take one for the team Colin.In the car today the radio was giving some entertainment report and says something about someone on TV "dropped the F bomb" on this live show. Colin was in the back and says a few minutes later-- so mom did they throw it at someone or just drop it?

Summer in September

As you are aware I have been a great big slacker in the blogging department. I am trying to get caught up with blogging and with housework and with eating better and exercising more. SO naturally I picked to start with blogging. So we will do some review to get back up to date.
In June we went to my mom's in TN for a visit. My kids found some wigs and were having some fun.Ben had fun with Grandma playing blocks.Colin and Ryan were talking about what they want to be when they grow up

Ryan said I want to be an artist and a guy that does puppets. Can you do both? Colin says yeah probably. I want to be an inventor. If I get fired from being an inventor I think I will be an Airforce guy with planes and stuff.

Way to have a back up plan Colin.
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Apparently according to my camera(because there were no pictures on it) we did nothing else until August when my whole family came to visit. It was really great seeing my brother and his family who just got back from their 2 years in Nepal. So we had a full week. Kevin and Mike took the older kids wakeboarding. Fun and painful was what they decided when they were done. My brother said it would have been cheaper to just pay someone to beat us up in the parking lot.
We went to the sprayground for the little people.
We played in the rain.
Then we went to the Aquarium. Highlight was petting the sharks.
Then we went to a great big amusement park that was probably the worst day for me ever. If I would have thought it out I would have realized that strong willed 3 year olds do not like standing in lines quietly and get highly agitated and offended when they are told after they finally get on and ride that they have to get off after the 5 sec. ride and go stand in line again if you want to do it again. So I don't have many pictures but all the other kids loved it. Thanks to my mom and dad for watching Ben so I didn't have to battle two kids.

Superstars

I realize that I don't always post when good things happen so..

We have had some great achievements going on around here---sorry to say it still isn't potty training but these are good too.

Ryan wrote an essay on trees for the Optimist club and they picked 2 out of the whole fourth grade (I think there are about 8 classes) to win a bike!! He has really become quite a good writer he is very descriptive and has humor mingled in. His essay ended with this sentence..."Tree you later." He also has become a great artist. His art piece(again they only chose 2) got chosen to be framed and hung in the hall at his elementary school. Great Job Ryan!!

Luke worked really hard to finish up some merit badges for scouts and he advanced to Star (which is 2 ranks away from Eagle) !! It is not easy doing all the requirements for these ranks. He has a lot of natural ability in scouting and especially anything outdoors. He loves the actual camping and being in nature. He had a big fan club there for him. We all took up 1/2 the audience I think. We are all really proud of his accomplishments.











The only pictures I had of Lisa, Beth, and Ellen were later at my house playing ring around the rosie with Kristen.

Colin turned 7 and lost his first 2 teeth. He is very proud. He said "mom do I look really cute without those teeth" and then gave me a very cheesy grin. Of course I reply you are always cute to me Colin.Kristen as you know has been very slow in the talking department. Very physical but not so verbal--that is with real words. She did say her 1st sentence a little while back. Unfortunately it was this which was said very loudly--repeatedly--"I DON'T LIKE IT, I DON'T LIKE BED, I DON'T LIKE IT!! NEVER NEVER NEVER, NO BED.
Ben well he just says No all the time for everything and still says Mom in a most annoying almost mooing like manner. He has discovered a love for matchbox cars and outdoors. Every few minutes he just goes to the door and bangs and cries to get out. Sadly I have found I have very few pictures of Ben. I guess I can't give my mom anymore flack about there not hardly being any pictures of me because I was the last one.

Laundry Party

I finally found a way to stay on top of my laundry.
We have a laundry/American Idol "party" every tues. It goes like this if I let them stay up and watch they have to fold all the towels and their clothes while they watch. During commercials they run up and put them away--IN THE RIGHT PLACE--and get back in time before it comes on. So I just wash and wash throughout the week and then bust it all out that night and we sort and we fold. The Mt. Laundry is intimidating at first but it goes by quick and we are always done with time to spare before American Idol is over.
Ben never makes it very long he still has to go to bed because he is just to counter productive. He just knocks everyones piles over. Which makes Colin almost have a nervous breakdown.
Kristen on the other hand is just way to busy to be bothered with folding or bed. She thinks she is a SuperStar! She usually bows after each performance. Like every diva she has unreasonable demands and will not cooperate for the photo ops I had in mind. So this is the best I could get.


I don't know what I'm going to do when the season's over. I'll have to come up with a new plan or be drowned in laundry.

Diary of a Mess cleaning/clothes changing mom

I don't know what is going on this week but the messes are in great bounty which then in turn makes the laundry ridiculous. Ben and Kristen have both averaged 3-4 outfits a day. Sometimes it's purely innocent things that happened but then the others not so innocent.......

Mon.- found Ben completely coated in butter-pants, shoes, hair, and face. It got tricky picking him up because he was so slippery. The crazy thing is I'm cleaning up a few dishes and hear him giggling while Ryan played the piano. I thought he liked the music--no apparently just the delight of being lathered in lard.













Tues.-Kristen was a bit hungry I guess because I found her with the peanut butter jar and the jelly jar. I guess she is concerned about carbs because she had no bread--she just was sticking her hand in both jars and licking it. The jelly ended up on the carpet, TV, and all over her of course.

Wed.- Ben was feeling kind of crafty I guess because I found a tube of glitter spread all over my bathroom floor. Then Kristen had a push pop and the whole idea of "pushing" it up was just beyond her I guess because she just let it melt down her arm and of course onto the carpet. She just stared at it baffled. COME ON!! if you can scale the boxes in the basement to open the freezer and find it hidden than surely you could push the little tiny stick up to get more ice cream.

Thurs.-This must have been makeover day. I found her covered in mascara--kind of like body paint. It must have been good quality because even in the shower it wasn't coming off. I went to get some more serious soap come back and she is sitting in the bottom of the shower as the water poured around her reading this nice hardback space book Kevin left in the bathroom. I said What are you DOING!! She looks up so innocent as says Oh hi mom, I reading go away.

This next one didn't technically happen this week but I put them in the bath and then hurried to vacuum up the explosion of popcorn kernels that was covering my floor from a snack gone bad. I come back up the stairs and smell a familiar smell of clean mint as I am trying to figure out how I know this smell I look and see Kristen covered in toothpaste and smearing it all over Ben's body like soap. I started rinsing them off but then stopped to take the picture. So this isn't really an accurate picture so just imagine that on their shoulders all over their bodies. The water was a lovely shade of blue. The cruel irony was that as i was cleaning the bathroom up they helped themselves to some crackers on the floor that I just paid a very high price to get vacuumed and they got crumbs all over the floor.


These were just the highlights there were many more messes that were much more typical but annoying nonetheless. I'm scared to think what is in store tomorrow. I guess I just can't get dressed or go to the bathroom---I guess I better stop drinking now... and maybe sleep in some clothes. On a more positive note-- at least none of it had to do with any bodily fluids or functions this time.

Talent ?!

Ryan was in his talent show at school at came up with a pogo stick routine. He was great and it was the only act like it. The quality of video isn't great and it's cut off at the end when he did the disco fingers while jumping but you can get the idea

Kevin showed his gingerbread talent again with this:















Kevin made this St. Patrick's day gingerbread house for his Irish Captain at work and it was really cool. Then we helped Luke make a gingerbread castle for a project at school.
His teacher called him Betty Crocker and his partner Mr. Pillsbury.

Eric Style...

This is a funny video staring Kevin's brother Eric and Ryan. Eric had some time to kill as he awaited his mission call and put his creativity to work and recruited Ryan to help. He did get his call shortly after this debut-- he is going to Las Vegas, Nevada mission. We are very proud of him and excited for his upcoming adventure!!

A Crappy Few Weeks

If you are easily grossed out you might want to stop reading now. When I chose the title of this post and included crappy--it was both figurative and literal.

First a stomach bug hit most of us. Which is bad enough but then you have to deal with the 100 diapers filled with toxic waste and try to take care of it as fast as you can while fighting the urge to vomit.

Then what started as a typical day went very,very wrong. I went to get Kristen a drink and realized Ben was MIA so I told Colin to go find him. I hear from upstairs--MOM, EMERGENCY!! I'm sorry!!! OK I think this can't be good but as I'm walking upstairs I don't hear crying so I thought well it can't be that bad. Boy was I wrong. I walk in the bathroom and there is Ben--hands in the toilet(which apparently Colin did not flush-hence the apology) Why do babies eat and play in disgusting things. I again have to fight the urge to vomit. Strip him down wash out his mouth and throw him in the bathtub. All while on the phone with the insurance adjuster I might add.

Oh if that wasn't enough. No there's more. A few days ago I'm trying to take a shower and when I'm almost done I get some visitors. Kristen is trying to open the door with Ben by her side and I'm holding it shut with one hand and trying to rinse with the other while she continually shouts MY TURN!! I finish and get out and she had already stripped down and jumped in before I got all the way out. I go to get dressed and I hear the door open, a weird grunting and then the door again. I go to see what that was and I guess she got out of the shower pooped on the floor--about 3 INCHES from the toilet and then got back in. COME ON!! Really!! If your going to take the time to get out of the shower you can't take the 1/2 step and make it to the toilet!

So you see I wasn't exaggerating. It really hasn't been the best few weeks. Put all this with being the homework police and the chore nazi-- I am done!!

January

I realize it is mid Febuary but I haven't posted anything in awhile so I thought I would just let you know a little of the things going on around here. January is always a crazy month for us. Ryan turned 10 on the 3rd. I had a birthday on the 4th. Our anniversary was on the 17th and then on

January 26th was Ben's birthday and he turned 1.
Also we are so proud of Ryan he finished reading the whole Book of Mormon shortly after his 10th birthday. We had some friends over and decorated cupcakes to celebrate his success. I tried to make a big deal out of it and I kept saying how great and amazing it was he did this and then Tanner says. Well I finished 1st Nephi what do I get. I replied--That's great too-- you get that cupcake that your eating right now.

Baby Steps and Inventions

Hey look what I can do...



I also found this video which was just funny. I guess wet paper is a new invention. Hmm..I don't really know if there is much of a market for that.

Boy, Did Wii Fool Them!

I know Christmas is been over for quite awhile and I know that many of you already know this story but I have to document this sweet victory because I don't know when it will ever happen again.

We got our kids a Wii and that was pretty much it. That was going to be their Christmas and we hid it. Well this is where my first mistake was. I was lax in my hiding because I thought with all this space no one would find things. They have prooved this theory time and again when they can't find their shoes or socks, or coat, or book or-Ok i guess you get the picture. All these missing things I can find in about 30 seconds if I lift up a blanket or toy or actually walk around the room instead of sitting there waiting for the missing item to jump in my hands and shout Here I am!
Anyway back on topic.
Luke finds it shows Colin-this is where he messed up big. He is still an amatuer in the snooping world. You never tell a 6 yr old anything. The next day Colin walks up-actually it was more of an overdelighted bounce and says, "Mom I know you got us a Wii". I play it cool and say "Why would you think that." He replies "Because Luke showed it to me and he read the box it has W-I-I on it and that spells Wii-he told me." Well OK that's a pretty good reason to think that then. I don't say that instead my mind is racing for something to say and I say something lame like well I don't know what your talking about and then I distract him.

This is where the devious part of my mind was awoken and unleashed with Kevin's help of course. Luke has no idea Colin ratted him out so we left it that way. We make a plan and get some helpers. We have Andy and Corrie(thanks again bytheway) come over and I say hey Kevin can you go get that thing in our closet before they leave I've been holding it for them. Kevin goes and gets it- hands it to Andy and he proceeds to carry it out the door. My kids eyes were huge and full of panic and confusion . They were trying to play it off (but again amatuers) their eyes never left the package. They quickly run around the corner with loud whispers. I hear a muffled "I KNOW!!--I thought it was ours!!! Corrie then thanks us for having the fireman at Kevin's work get it because they were so hard to find(which is true that is how we got it). Corrie already had a Wii and my kids know that so she says for them to hear. Andy's sister Sarah will be so happy you found one.

The next week was hilarious. Luke says mom I need to talk to you. Why did you give them a Wii. I say how do you know it's a wii. He scrambles and says umm I could see through the bag as they left and I thought it was for us. I said Oh well I guess you shouldn't assume anything. Ryan with every Wii commercial moans that it is taunting him because he just knew he had one. A great highlight was when Sarah sends a thank you card and a picture of her playing a Wii. I show them and they slump off in various directions mumbling. Thanks Sarah for that nice touch! Then they all put up an ad for a Wii on the refrigerator circled many times. I just say guys you know those are very expensive and very hard to find around Christmas.

So in the end Victory was ours when they opened the package on Christmas and they were all surprised. Luke said later Dang I really didn't think we were getting one. The bittersweet part is Colin thinks Santa came through for him even though we couldn't-- so we can't have all the glory--I guess that will keep us humble... that is until in later years when we recount this story over and over!

Christmas

Here is a glimpse of our holidays.
Christmas Eve Kevin's family came over and we all sang carols and ate cookies. My parents got in town just in time for the fun.
Christmas day was great we opened presents and then Kevin's family came over and we opened more gifts and had a simple but nice late lunch.
Ben wasn't really into his first Christmas.
My sister and her family came Christmas night. Over there visit we went to Eden Park and the Krohn Conservatory. It was breezy but fun all the same.
I had many more pictures but didn't want anyone to get carpel tunnel from scrolling down for
a million pictures.