No there is no typo here this is a new version of a classic fairytale that I get the joy of playing out.
Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in a home full of testosterone, love, and of course "the force". From day one-actually that's not true we got real excited about how mellow and how much she slept the 1st two days-it was a miracle we finally got a baby that was going to not be so high maintainced the heavens have looked down and smiled upon us at last!! This joy remained just long enough to realize it was just the Vicoden she was getting through nursing. So from the time we brought her home and I was detoxed she decided sleep was really an
unnecessary and annoying practice that kept her from her plotting domination in our home. Her plan was really quite brilliant. Make the 2 supposed leaders so sleep deprived that it would be easy to overthrow them. She has mixed up her techniques over the past 18 months with waking up just once at night, then letting you get used to sleep for almost a month and just when you think you have conquered all she decides to remind you who really is in charge here. She will then punish your futile hope by getting up every night for the next week. This cycle continues but the new twist is and explanation of the title of this post is:
Princess Kristen has decided that her bottom can never be bothered by moisture when she is to sleep. The promise of the diaper to pull away all moisture is false advertising as far as her now "sensitive cheeks" are concerned. I change her right before bed and then like 3 or 4 hours later she wakes up-yes she is a little wet but I know for a fact and much research(which was mostly conducted by neglecting to change a diaper out of laziness or Kevin and I holding out until the other caved and did it) that there is way more absorption that can go on before there is any leaking. She then goes back to bed dry and happy. So I suspect either I have purchased a defective batch of diapers or the much more likely answer is that this is a new ploy to continue her rule. I think she can feel a tremor in the force that another baby is coming and she is going to have to kick it up a notch to make sure we realize this is her Empire and we are her minions. The boys have already accepted their fate and let her walk all over them(quite literally sometimes) but I have not given up all hope. I will continue my own plotting. Luke and the boys came up with that in our house daddy was the King, I'm the queen, Luke is the prince, Ryan the duke, Kristen is the princess and poor Colin they made the servant. I tried to explain that there can be 3 princes but they all(mostly Luke) were happy what they came up with. Maybe this baby will bring balance to the force and provide a happily ever after to this not so fun fairy tale. The other option is they join together to bring us all down-- I will have to monitor them closely. They will have plenty of time for planning when they both are up half the night.
Once upon a time there was a baby girl born in a home full of testosterone, love, and of course "the force". From day one-actually that's not true we got real excited about how mellow and how much she slept the 1st two days-it was a miracle we finally got a baby that was going to not be so high maintainced the heavens have looked down and smiled upon us at last!! This joy remained just long enough to realize it was just the Vicoden she was getting through nursing. So from the time we brought her home and I was detoxed she decided sleep was really an
unnecessary and annoying practice that kept her from her plotting domination in our home. Her plan was really quite brilliant. Make the 2 supposed leaders so sleep deprived that it would be easy to overthrow them. She has mixed up her techniques over the past 18 months with waking up just once at night, then letting you get used to sleep for almost a month and just when you think you have conquered all she decides to remind you who really is in charge here. She will then punish your futile hope by getting up every night for the next week. This cycle continues but the new twist is and explanation of the title of this post is:
Princess Kristen has decided that her bottom can never be bothered by moisture when she is to sleep. The promise of the diaper to pull away all moisture is false advertising as far as her now "sensitive cheeks" are concerned. I change her right before bed and then like 3 or 4 hours later she wakes up-yes she is a little wet but I know for a fact and much research(which was mostly conducted by neglecting to change a diaper out of laziness or Kevin and I holding out until the other caved and did it) that there is way more absorption that can go on before there is any leaking. She then goes back to bed dry and happy. So I suspect either I have purchased a defective batch of diapers or the much more likely answer is that this is a new ploy to continue her rule. I think she can feel a tremor in the force that another baby is coming and she is going to have to kick it up a notch to make sure we realize this is her Empire and we are her minions. The boys have already accepted their fate and let her walk all over them(quite literally sometimes) but I have not given up all hope. I will continue my own plotting. Luke and the boys came up with that in our house daddy was the King, I'm the queen, Luke is the prince, Ryan the duke, Kristen is the princess and poor Colin they made the servant. I tried to explain that there can be 3 princes but they all(mostly Luke) were happy what they came up with. Maybe this baby will bring balance to the force and provide a happily ever after to this not so fun fairy tale. The other option is they join together to bring us all down-- I will have to monitor them closely. They will have plenty of time for planning when they both are up half the night.
9 comments:
Hilarious! Kristen is so cute! I can say that because I don't have to wake up with her to change her princess diaper. Don't worry, someday she will have one of her own and her little one will put her through the ringer. Hang in there, at least you can pull off looking great with little sleep and being 8 months pregnant.
Could Colin be hired out? We could use a servant around here. Andy is getting tired of me being a princess.
Does this mean potty training is just around the corner?
Kristen sure is a handful, isn't she? She's such a cutie though!! At least you can't complain about things being dull at your house!! (Not like that's much consolation when you're being woke up in the middle of the night- dull would be welcome then!!)
Oh my goodness!! What can you do?? Let's see ... I'm sure you could get vicaden on the black market ... or, hmmm, benedryl seems less pernicious!
I agree with AJ, you do look great -- even though you are perpetually sleep deprived and 8 months pregnant, And you're always so upbeat! What's your secret??
Stephon's answer is always NyQuil. That will knock out a toddler in no time...
I have to agree that you look great for being so sleep-deprived and pregnant!
Hey I have Hallie's phenobarb, that works GREAT, but hey I am having the same problem at my house so it's MINE!!!!!But the good news it's cheap.
I'm so sorry for your wee wee woes. It is completely unfair!
I love to read your blog, it's just like listening to you talk. You've made "minions" my new favorite word.
Sorry about your sleeping/pee issues. If you ever need someone to take the princess for a while, I'm right down the street(you can send all the minions if you want.)
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